Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
