I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
