Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Randomize
