Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize
