The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
