it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
then he tried to convert me to islam
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
