it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize