Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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