the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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