He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
