and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
