I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
