So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
