Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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