My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize
