where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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