What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
