I'm drive I can fine osifer
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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