My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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