yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
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