If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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