Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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