I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
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Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
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Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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