We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
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Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
third nipple confirmed
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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