she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Randomize