Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Randomize
