I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
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