how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
