this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
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