idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Randomize
