so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Randomize
