Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
if only i could text you this smell
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
