He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
