That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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