the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
