this just has baby written all over it
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Randomize
