yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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