Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
