My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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