i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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