I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Randomize
