God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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