Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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