you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
