What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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