We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
