I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
