My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
