What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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