just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Randomize
