Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
A bitchslap is in order.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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