Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
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yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
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It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
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