Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
