No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
