is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
