I'm gonna have a badass scar
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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