I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
