i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
