I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
