Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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