He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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