i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
