Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I enjoy the company of your penis
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize