He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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