if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Randomize
