Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Randomize
