You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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