btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
