I wish I could punch you in the face.
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
